Monday, July 30, 2012

Time to do the diet thing.

Alright, so I've been bad. I missed my goal of posting a blog every week. Shame on me.
I won't go into a lot of detail right now, but I do have a good excuse. Mom's pneumonia didn't go away, so we took her to a specialist. He said that mom's problem wasn't pneumonia at all, but the tumors in her lungs had grown. A lot. He said they were stage IV and there was nothing they could do and we should just call Hospice. 


That was over 2 weeks ago.


Since that time, she has started an herbal treatment and a very strict diet......and she's gotten a bit better every day. In a few months, I fully expect to be writing next chapter of her story in "God's Miracles----Part 3". I hope you all will come back and read that. I wish I knew when to tell you it would be, but everything is really slow right now. 


Meanwhile, I need to post a blog. So, I thought to myself "What's going on in my life right now that's different?" This diet! When mom started her treatment, dad and I promised her that we would be with her every step of the way. Although we can't take the tea that she's on (because you have to have cancer), we are following her diet to the letter. 


It's in no way a "fun diet". I don't know about you all, but I have never enjoyed dieting in any way, shape or form. I love to eat too much. Pizza......pastas......breads......sweets.......you know. All the stuff that tastes awesome but is't good for you in the least. 
Let me tell you a bit about me and the way I liked to eat. First off, you should know that I was a caffeine addict. Seriously. A year ago, I was drinking 3 or more 44 oz Dr. Peppers per day. I would drink about a glass of plain water once a week.....maybe. I thought it tasted horrible! I ate out for breakfast every morning, and some of my favorite things were McGriddles from McDonalds, Monster Biscuits from Hardees, Breakfast pizza from the convenience store, and Breakfast Burritos from Sonic. I got one of those things every morning. EVERY morning. Not because I don't know how to cook, and not because I don't like to cook, it was because I craved fast food. Mom and I would catch breakfast on the way to the store, so that put me eating breakfast about 9:30 AM, which was good, because my caffeine headache would have kicked in by 10. Then usually for lunch, I'd grab some tacos or a cheeseburger, and it was never at lunch time, because I wasn't hungry at lunch. It was at least 1:30 or 2 before I'd eat. Supper time came and I'd get home about 6:30 and either start cooking or eat, depending on whether or not Dan had started it. Normally we'd have some kind of meat, and either rice or noodles.
Now, I loved this diet. Loved it. I felt like I was eating all this wonderful stuff that I loved and I had nothing to worry about. But........in the 3 years that Dan and I were married, I had gained 30 pounds. I reality, that's only 10 pounds per year.......0.83 pounds per month......0.03 pounds per day.......Anyway. It's not a lot......but for an woman in her early twenties, it's a lot. Plus, I would wake up sick every morning. That was the main reason that I didn't want to eat until 9 or so. I seriously felt like I would throw up every single day. People would tell me that it was the way I was eating, but I paid them no attention. I was constantly warned about the trouble of drinking so much pop every day, but I ignored them. 

It really hit me about the first of the year about how much that I had gained and how that was probably really the cause of the problems I'd been having physically. So, I made a "resolution", if you will, that I would gradually ween myself off caffeine and I would only eat out once a day. And that's what I did. After that, I only had one 44 oz caffeinated pop per day for several weeks. Then, I went down to just one 44 oz pop.....period.....for several weeks. It was hard! And I had lots of pop cravings. But, I was determined and stuck with it. Then it went down to a 32 oz once per day and stayed there for a few months. 
During this time, mom got sick and we stopped eating out so much, and eventually we didn't eat any fast food at all. What surprised me about this, was the fact that after a couple weeks of eating no fast food at all, when I did decide to have a burger or something, it tasted pretty bad. And honestly, when I ate a McDonalds burger, I got sick to my stomach.....while I was eating it. That had never happened before. Something else that changed was that I wasn't sick every morning anymore. I was hungry within 15 to 20 minutes of waking up, and I wanted my meals on time. I was even being hungry between meal times.
I gradually went down to a 20 oz soda per day, and only ate fast food about once a week.....maybe. That wasn't an all the time thing. Just once in a while when neither Dan or I felt like cooking, or we wanted pizza. That I can remember, pizza was one thing that never got old or tasted bad. 

After mom had the brain surgery and started recovering, we ate a little more fast food than we had been. Not a lot, but a little. And when she got sick with the pneumonia, there were very few things that actually sounded good to her, so we'd give her whatever she wanted. Mostly, it was Chicken McNuggets from (of course) McDonalds. While I didn't eat them every time, I did eat more fast food than I had in several months. I started becoming sick again, though only on days that I had eaten fast food the day before. 
By now we're closer to the current time.........when the strict diet kicks in. Almost three weeks ago, when mom was told she had Stage 4 Lung Cancer, we heard of an herbal treatment that has worked for many people. The only catch is you have to completely change the way you eat for it to work. And I do mean completely.
When she agreed to take the treatment, I made her a promise that I intend to keep, and I have done it so far.

Here's the diet:

The "don'ts"
  1. No meat.
  2. No sugar. (That is white refined sugar. Honey is alright, so is a sweetener called "agave"
  3. No dairy. (The exception to this rule is you can have straight from the farm goat's milk)
  4. No breads.
  5. No nuts (except almonds)
  6. No jams, jellies, condiments or salad dressings of any kind. (except the "Bolthouse" brand)
  7. No flour. 
  8. No soda
  9. No artificial sweeteners of any kind. 
The "do's"
  1. All the vegetables we want. (Organic is best.) 
  2. Certain fruits are OK, but nothing high in sugar. (Pineapple, Strawberries, etc)
  3. Organic or Cage Free eggs are fine.
  4. Organic brown whole grain rice is great for this diet.
  5. Organic oatmeal with goat's milk, sweetened with honey or agave is wonderful for this.
  6. Lots of water.
Now then. Does anyone see the issue here? There is no pizza or chocolate cake on this list. How will I ever survive?

I'd like to say right off, that, I'm sure some of you out there read this list and are saying exactly what I said when I got it; "Yuck." I never said that to mom. I am always reinforcing the fact that we have good reason for doing this, and it won't stay like this forever. We don't intend to go back to eating as unhealthy as we were before, but it will be more like normal than it is now. I've never been a big vegetable eater, anyway, so if we couldn't have eggs.....I probably would starve. Of everything, I think the thing that I was most resistant to try was the goat's milk. Milk is something I've always been very particular on. I like Hiland brand. End of story. So when dad told me he was going to buy goat's milk.......I wasn't very excited. I had pretty much decided I would just do without milk until mom was cured and thing would go back to normal. But when dad brought the milk home and we tried it, I was shocked! I couldn't believe it was so good. After that, things started getting a bit better. However, I do miss the bread.....and the meat......and the cold cereal......and the....oh, never mind. It's awful how when you're on a diet everything looks good. It's kind of disgusting......and annoying all at the same time. Sometimes I dread to even watch TV because the commercials make me hungry. And walking through the grocery store? Forget it. I have to keep repeating to myself what I'm in there for, otherwise I'll catch myself looking at something and thinking "Oh, that would be good!". I'm weak. I've been that way ever since I was 13 and went on my first diet. I've always been chunky, and sometimes just down right fat, but I've never had the restraint to keep myself from eating all the foods that I love. I will, however, make it through this time. Because I'm not doing it to loose weight (even though I am losing some), I'm doing it to keep my mom. And that is my strength.

As an aside, if anyone has any vegetable only recipes, I'd love to hear them. We're running out of ideas! lol 

Friday, July 6, 2012

Learning to wait.


Lamentations 3:22-25
It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him.
The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh Him.



Isaiah 30:18
And therefore will the LORD waitthat He may be gracious unto you, and therefore will He be exalted, that He may have mercy upon you: for the LORD is a God of judgment: blessed are all they that wait for Him.



Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.


Psalm 37:9
For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORDthey shall inherit the earth.




I really like those verses. Mainly because we've spent so much time lately waiting on the Lord.
Mom's pneumonia is slowly but surely getting better. We knew it would, but we had no idea it would take as long as it has. In reality, she's only been on her antibiotics for two weeks, and the doctor says it could take a month to 6 weeks before she's back up to par, and even then she could still be weak and winded. The Lord has been with her, and will continue to be with her through the recovery process. I sometimes wonder why she had to get this illness right after the things she's been through with her brain surgery and all........but I try not to question. It's for a reason, and one day maybe we'll know. Until then, I have to learn to "wait". After all, His ways are above my ways, and His time is not my time. So, what can you do? PBW. Pray, Believe, and Wait. As I've said before, we're not people who believe that you just pray once and then you're done. 1st Thessalonians 5:17 says "Pray without ceasing", and there are many days that I am in, what seems to be, constant prayer. It's not out loud, but I pray from my heart. My true desires are there, and God hears me. 

  • "Please, Lord, just make mom better." 
  • "Please, Lord, help Dan and Dad at their jobs today."
  • "Please, Lord, send some business our way if we're meant to keep this store."
  • "Please, Lord, help Skyla at her interview today."
  • "Please, Lord, get rid of Russ's headache because he has tons of stuff to get done."
Maybe some of you think praying for headache relief is silly. I don't. A hundred thoughts like that per day run through my mind. I'm sincere. I just want what's best for my family. They mean everything to me and I just want them to be happy and healthy. The praying is the easy part. The believing is harder, but all it takes is the tiniest bit of faith and it grows and grows. The waiting is the hardest part of the process.......but I must admit that my impatience is an inherited trait. 
Dad gets extremely nervous while waiting. When I talked to him last night, he admitted this fact, and said that sometimes he couldn't understand why Jesus made us wait. Back in Bible times, almost everything was immediate. He said "God never changes, so sometimes I wonder why miracles aren't still immediate?" I responded with "I know some of them still are, but Dad, Jesus also let some people die just so he could show his power and raise them from the dead.........we really don't want that happening now, do we?"
He agreed with me, said that however the Lord wanted to handle things now was just fine with him, and we changed the subject.
Mom is patient........most of the time. Though this pneumonia has really drug a lot of her "good nature and temperament" to the point of screaming on most days. I think sometimes if she would actually scream, it would help her to recover faster. I know what it's like to be sick, but I don't know what it's like to have something that makes it; impossible to go outside because you can't breathe, a two person job to get you to the bathroom, and you so tired that you want to sleep but can't because you have insomnia. I guess it's just miserable, and I can't blame her for complaining.
Russ, on the other hand is probably the worst of us when it comes to the patience department, especially when he's worried. I can understand that as well, because he feels as though if someone's sick, they need care as soon as possible, and there's not a moment to waste. Sometimes that just can't happen, and he doesn't understand why. He couldn't understand why mom wasn't better after 2 days of antibiotics. After 2 weeks, you can imagine what he's thinking. At least the past couple days mom has shown improvement. I would have Russ AND dad jumping down my throat if she didn't feel better. 
And what could I do? I could take after my husband and lecture them. That's about it. Being married to Dan for 4 years has taught me a thing or two about psychology, human thought processes through asking simple questions, and the art of a good lecture. 
My parents tell a story about me a lot. It's the story of when I was born. Mom and Dad were married not quite 2 years when Russ was born. When he was about 2-3 years old, they wanted to have another baby, so their kids would be close in and grow up together. But they couldn't get pregnant. It went on for years and they were beginning to face the fact that it wasn't meant for them to have another child. Mom had always wanted a daughter so she prayed, and prayed, and prayed. Nothing happened. Their only son was about 16 years old and mom had some female issues that worried her so she went to see her gynecologist. Her cycle had been terrible and hadn't stopped, and after an exam, the doctor told her the news. She'd had a miscarriage. It was heartbreaking for her. I don't know what she went through that day, but I know it had to be hard. Not long after that when Russ was about 17, mom's cycle stopped altogether. She was scared because of the previous miscarriage, and perhaps there was something wrong with her. She suspected everything except what was actually wrong with her; Me. 
They couldn't believe it. Their son was graduating high school and mom was expecting me. Mom never wanted to find out from the doctor what she was having. She knew that her prayer had been answered and she would have a girl. And obviously she was right. If you can't already tell, the reason for this story is I think that was a huge lesson to them about patience and waiting on the Lord. 
Something that is so hard to realize about waiting, is the fact that we can't see the future. I mean, if I had been born back when mom and dad first wanted me, there's no telling where I would have been when mom lost her arm. Or when the brain tumor hit? It's amazing to think about. I'm not bragging on myself by any means, but I am glad that I'm here close to help when they let me. I like my little comfy house, I love my husband, and I am incredibly blessed.
I think about that sometimes when I'm having trouble waiting. I can't change the past, I don't know the future. All I have is the present. And I'm not guaranteed that. So, we trust in the Lord.....and we wait.