Let me tell you a story.......

Once upon a time........well, let's not start this way. This isn't a fairy tale. Those don't exist in real life, but this is probably as close to one as you can get. 

It all started in 2004.

I was 16 when my brother started searching for a guitar player for a bluegrass gospel band he had formed called "Mount Zion". He had been to Nashville to record their first nationally released CD, and had been told by Jeff and Ray Deaton that, although Russ was perfectly fine as a guitar player for the group, he needed to be playing mandolin......because......well, if you've ever heard Russ play mandolin, you would know that he can pick one so hot it almost catches fire. So, their reasoning was sound, but finding a guitar player of the quality Russ would want was going to be hard. 

One day shortly following this fateful trip, a semi-frequent customer came in the store. He knew of Russ' trip to Nashville and the band formation, so he asked how things were going. When Russ explained the events of the trip, the customer said "Well, I may know of someone for you. He's a Mennonite, but he's the finest guitar picker I've heard." Russ responded with a look of confusion, and the statement that Mennonites don't play music. The man assured Russ that, although he would normally agree with him, this was not a normal case. So, Russ agreed to meet with the supposed "Mennonite". 

After their first meeting, I asked Russ how things went. He said "Well, he was right. That kid is fine. He's 21.....and probaby one of the best guitar players I've ever heard." My first thought was "21 and a guitar player! I've got to meet this guy!" So when I voiced this thought to Russ, his reply was......... well, not very enthusiastic. I was basically told the guy wasn't my type, and to forget about it. So I did. Until the next practice was set. I made sure that I ran late enough to still be at the store for when it started. I'll never forget the first time I heard him play. I was in with a student, and couldn't even see him, but I heard a guitar break, and was so impressed! I remember thinking "If this guy looks half as good as he plays, I'm going for it!". So, I finished up with my student and headed out front to see what was what. When I walked out and saw him.....the player of the guitar....the...."Mennonite"......He wasn't at all what I expected. He was......skinny.....short......and wore huge glasses. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a polo shirt, and looked like he hadn't shaved in a day or two. I probably don't have to tell you this, but at 16, when your hormones are going crazy and you have certain ideas of how someone should look or act, you tend to sluff off anything that doesn't fit in the tiny box that is your mind. So I think I nodded and maybe said hello before I made a beeline for the door. 

No. He wasn't what I was looking for. 

Over the course of the next few months, I had my 17th birthday, and life was pretty much the normal. Mom, dad, and myself started going to several Mount Zion shows........you know.......to support Russ. I enjoyed going to the shows, and was really starting to enjoy looking at the new guitar player. I didn't like the fact that I was enjoying it, but I reeally couldn't help myself. I mean, he was too skinny and short. He was not my type at all. (Because we all know at 17 everyone has their type picked out.)

In April of 2005, Russ was going to a local studio to start work on the next Mount Zion CD project, with the new arrangement. It would feature several old standards, and lots of original material. I remember being told about one particular studio trip where  Russ says he was asked tons of questions about me on the way there by a certain skinny guitarist. I wondered why in the world he was asking about me?? Maybe he caught me staring at him at one of the shows and thinks I'm some kind of psyco?  I tried not to think about it too much and just go on. Yeah. That didn't work. 

By June, one of us, and I still to this day don't know which one, decided to start talking to the other one. I realized that he had a subtle sense of humor that most everyone he was around didn't pick up on, so it made it really funny. Plus he had a sweet spirit about him, and he seemed very kind. The more time I spent around him, the more I liked him. One night that same month, I decided to go out on a limb and invite him to my house for supper. He was in town for a show and Russ and Skyla had plans with her partents, so I thought "what better excuse?" When I asked him, I don't know that he took me seriously right away, but after I insisted, he accepted and a plan was made for me to pick him up. When the hour arrived and I pulled in at the music store........well, let's just say we both got some looks. I didn't really care, Supper went good, except for one incident with a salt shaker that I won't reveal the details of. And we even took a picture to commemorate the event. 

                                         

Aftter that night, we were pretty much really good friends. We talked every few days and emailed some. Being an hour and a half from each other, that was pretty much our options. And I mean, we were, after all, just good friends, so what more did we need?

In July, I invited him up for my 18th birthday where we argued over what part of my cake he would eat, and then went for a drive to the Louisburg picnic where our lives changed forever. I don't know how it happened (I say that a lot in this story), but when we left the picnic that night, we were a couple. Then is when the real phone conversations started. The monday following my birthday, we talked for 3 hours.....but that was nothing in the grand scheme of things. We once stayed on the phone for 8, with most of the conversations averaging 4-5. As I say, we were 1 1/2 hours apart, with him not driving, so building a relationship on that type of situation isn't easy. We called, we emailed, and waited until a show came up so we could see each other. Weeks turned to months, arguments happened, things were forgiven, many shows passed, and finally an opportunity arose for him to move to Buffalo. Thankfully, he took it. 

Dating seriously changes when you're used to having phone conversations to get you by for 2 months at a time, then all of a sudden you can see each other every day. It was pretty awesome, and I'm sure I  took advantage many times, and drove him crazy. I just couldn't help myself. I was so in love with this man, who, thanks to mine and mom's cooking, wasn't so skinny and short anymore. My 20th birthday was what we counted as our 2 year dating anniversary. I wasn't really expecting anything, but I was hoping. I had been after him for a while to make a move. His proposal was quirky, and completely untraditional. Pretty much our whole relationship. I of course said yes, and we set the wedding date for one year and one month away. 

                                                       

A lot can hapen in a year. Even a lot of things that can test a relationship's strength. It was during this time that my mom was first diagnosed with cancer and I learned how much that I needed him. He was there for me the entire time. Mom lost her arm during that year, but she was still there for every step of my wedding planning, and anxious for me to get married. She told me that she knew she wouldn't always be with me and she wanted to know I would be taken care of. So the wedding went on as scheduled.  Our first year was hard, as is everyones, because learning to live with someone is hard work. But, I think it's safe to say that we handled things well, and eventually adjusted to each other. 

I learned so much during those dating years, but it never compairs with living with someone. First off, I thought when we were dating that he just didn't like his full name. Wrong. He HATES being called by his full name. There is no "Daniel" in our house. There is Dan. And he likes beans for breakfast. He occasionally likes mustard on his sandwhiches and desperately needs time to himself whenever he can. He was not a Mennonte, regardless of other peoples opinion. He pretty much has to drink with a straw. He likes to be taken care of when he's really sick, but when he's just a little sick, you best leave him alone. He loves his routein, and doesn't like breaking it for anyone. And this is just a teeny tiny portion of things that I have learned.......and sometimes learned the hard way. 

When I said a lot can happen in a year, take that times 5 and that brings us to now. We've had countless arguments, just as many make up sessions, 4 promotions, 1 job location change, overnight shifts, family events and celebrations, church services, and just last year we lost mom. She was right when she said that I would be taken care of. Dan was with me through it all, being my strength, holding me when I felt like I would fall, and being a shoulder when I just needed to cry. I couldn't have made it through without him. 

And now we're entering another new and exciting chapter by adding in a sweet little boy. This pregnancy is something that I am enjoying so much! I'm sure that by the end of it, though, it will be another test of our marriage......as will the raising of our child. I don't have any doubts about wether we'll make it though. I signed on for the long haul, and I know he did too.  

Happy number 5, honey. I love you.

And they lived most blessedly together forever. 

The end. 

The pregnancy hoax?

So the doctors say your pregnant? 

Congratulations! 

Now what?

You wait, that's what. 

I'm sure part of it is the anticipation of seeing our first little one, but it seems as though time is going slowly. Another part is probably because I found out so early. I suspected my pregnancy 6 days before I took my first positive home test, and 11 days before I had a confirmed test by a doctor. At the time of the doctor visit I was told I was 5 weeks along. So I guess you could say I'm one of those women who knew right away. I managed to keep it a secret from everyone (except Dan of course) for another 2-3 weeks until I went to an OB/GYN and get completely checked out. Luckily for me I felt bigger than I needed to be for 7 weeks, so I got an early ultrasound. I say luckily because I think that was the only thing that truly made my mind accept that there was a baby in there! 

After that first doctor's visit, I felt normal for a couple days. Then, the morning sickness came. Once it was here, I hated it. Mostly because it wasn't "morning" sickness. I was sick all day. Sick and exhausted. By the time that I went back to the doctor at about 11 1/2 weeks, I was sure I was going to need some kind of pill or something. It turns out the only pill I needed was a good talking to by my doctor, who reminded me that everything was normal and that once I hit my second trimester if things weren't better she would prescribe something for me. Once that second trimester was here, it was like everything was over. Once I was able to get up right away of a morning, and stay up later than 7:30 at night, I felt like I had dreamed everything. I still wasn't showing and I wasn't sick. So what happened to the baby? 

Once I hit about 15 weeks, I "popped". My belly started sticking out and once again I felt like there was actually something happening in there. At my next doctors appointment, I was asked if I felt the baby move yet. Move? I still wasn't completely sure there was actually anything in there! I asked if I should be feeling it move by now, and they said it's not very common. Most women don't feel their babies until at least 18 weeks. I listened to a sweet heartbeat, that I'm pretty sure wasn't mine, and I was once again reassured that this wasn't some huge joke that someone was playing on me........until now.

Although my stomach is still growing, here I am at almost 18 weeks and haven't felt movement. So now I just feel fat. Every pregnancy is different, so I know there is still a baby in there, and I get to go to the doctor in less than 2 weeks. Once I'm there I get to see how much it has grown, by having my first ultrasound in 12 weeks. I'm very much looking forward to it. I will also get to stop referring to my child as "it". Lord willing and the baby cooperates, we'll know if it's a he or a she. 

Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to be a mommy. While there were other things that piqued my interest, having a husband and family of my own is the only thing that I have ever wanted. And now after 4+ years of marriage, we came to a point where we said "ok, it's time." 

The fact that I didn't have any younger siblings, and had never seen my mother pregnant worried Dan. I am the youngest of 2, he is the oldest of 9, so he had seen more pregnancy than he cared to know about. Not to mention the fact that most of those were home births, so all he wanted to tell me was how much I was going to scream during the birth and how horrible my hormones would be while I was carrying this child. I know I've had bad moments, but I'm hoping I'm not near the terror he was imagining. 

I remember when we first started dating and we would talk about getting married and having kids. We had a fight once about me giving birth at home. He wanted me to, and I........well.....didn't. There is no part of my brain at all that says this would be a good idea. At all. My idea of a safe birth is in a hospital, surrounded by doctors and nurses and access to drugs. Lots and lots of drugs. I didn't say that I will be using them, but it's nice to know they are there should the need arise. Plus I have lots of back and pelvis issues and I'm not even sure that I can give birth the natural way. After a lot of talking and explaining my feelings, Dan seems to have crossed over, and is now completely for the whole hospital birth thing. Which makes me feel even better. 

If you are one of the many women out there that gave birth at home, kudos. I admire you and think you are very brave. If you also went completely drug free, again I say you are an amazing person. I don't feel that I have the strength to do it. 

I know all these feelings are normal for a "first timer" and even through the sickness and the worry......and even though there is years and years of sickness and worry to come.....I have to say I'm enjoying the ride this far.