Let me tell you a story.......

Once upon a time........well, let's not start this way. This isn't a fairy tale. Those don't exist in real life, but this is probably as close to one as you can get. 

It all started in 2004.

I was 16 when my brother started searching for a guitar player for a bluegrass gospel band he had formed called "Mount Zion". He had been to Nashville to record their first nationally released CD, and had been told by Jeff and Ray Deaton that, although Russ was perfectly fine as a guitar player for the group, he needed to be playing mandolin......because......well, if you've ever heard Russ play mandolin, you would know that he can pick one so hot it almost catches fire. So, their reasoning was sound, but finding a guitar player of the quality Russ would want was going to be hard. 

One day shortly following this fateful trip, a semi-frequent customer came in the store. He knew of Russ' trip to Nashville and the band formation, so he asked how things were going. When Russ explained the events of the trip, the customer said "Well, I may know of someone for you. He's a Mennonite, but he's the finest guitar picker I've heard." Russ responded with a look of confusion, and the statement that Mennonites don't play music. The man assured Russ that, although he would normally agree with him, this was not a normal case. So, Russ agreed to meet with the supposed "Mennonite". 

After their first meeting, I asked Russ how things went. He said "Well, he was right. That kid is fine. He's 21.....and probaby one of the best guitar players I've ever heard." My first thought was "21 and a guitar player! I've got to meet this guy!" So when I voiced this thought to Russ, his reply was......... well, not very enthusiastic. I was basically told the guy wasn't my type, and to forget about it. So I did. Until the next practice was set. I made sure that I ran late enough to still be at the store for when it started. I'll never forget the first time I heard him play. I was in with a student, and couldn't even see him, but I heard a guitar break, and was so impressed! I remember thinking "If this guy looks half as good as he plays, I'm going for it!". So, I finished up with my student and headed out front to see what was what. When I walked out and saw him.....the player of the guitar....the...."Mennonite"......He wasn't at all what I expected. He was......skinny.....short......and wore huge glasses. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a polo shirt, and looked like he hadn't shaved in a day or two. I probably don't have to tell you this, but at 16, when your hormones are going crazy and you have certain ideas of how someone should look or act, you tend to sluff off anything that doesn't fit in the tiny box that is your mind. So I think I nodded and maybe said hello before I made a beeline for the door. 

No. He wasn't what I was looking for. 

Over the course of the next few months, I had my 17th birthday, and life was pretty much the normal. Mom, dad, and myself started going to several Mount Zion shows........you know.......to support Russ. I enjoyed going to the shows, and was really starting to enjoy looking at the new guitar player. I didn't like the fact that I was enjoying it, but I reeally couldn't help myself. I mean, he was too skinny and short. He was not my type at all. (Because we all know at 17 everyone has their type picked out.)

In April of 2005, Russ was going to a local studio to start work on the next Mount Zion CD project, with the new arrangement. It would feature several old standards, and lots of original material. I remember being told about one particular studio trip where  Russ says he was asked tons of questions about me on the way there by a certain skinny guitarist. I wondered why in the world he was asking about me?? Maybe he caught me staring at him at one of the shows and thinks I'm some kind of psyco?  I tried not to think about it too much and just go on. Yeah. That didn't work. 

By June, one of us, and I still to this day don't know which one, decided to start talking to the other one. I realized that he had a subtle sense of humor that most everyone he was around didn't pick up on, so it made it really funny. Plus he had a sweet spirit about him, and he seemed very kind. The more time I spent around him, the more I liked him. One night that same month, I decided to go out on a limb and invite him to my house for supper. He was in town for a show and Russ and Skyla had plans with her partents, so I thought "what better excuse?" When I asked him, I don't know that he took me seriously right away, but after I insisted, he accepted and a plan was made for me to pick him up. When the hour arrived and I pulled in at the music store........well, let's just say we both got some looks. I didn't really care, Supper went good, except for one incident with a salt shaker that I won't reveal the details of. And we even took a picture to commemorate the event. 

                                         

Aftter that night, we were pretty much really good friends. We talked every few days and emailed some. Being an hour and a half from each other, that was pretty much our options. And I mean, we were, after all, just good friends, so what more did we need?

In July, I invited him up for my 18th birthday where we argued over what part of my cake he would eat, and then went for a drive to the Louisburg picnic where our lives changed forever. I don't know how it happened (I say that a lot in this story), but when we left the picnic that night, we were a couple. Then is when the real phone conversations started. The monday following my birthday, we talked for 3 hours.....but that was nothing in the grand scheme of things. We once stayed on the phone for 8, with most of the conversations averaging 4-5. As I say, we were 1 1/2 hours apart, with him not driving, so building a relationship on that type of situation isn't easy. We called, we emailed, and waited until a show came up so we could see each other. Weeks turned to months, arguments happened, things were forgiven, many shows passed, and finally an opportunity arose for him to move to Buffalo. Thankfully, he took it. 

Dating seriously changes when you're used to having phone conversations to get you by for 2 months at a time, then all of a sudden you can see each other every day. It was pretty awesome, and I'm sure I  took advantage many times, and drove him crazy. I just couldn't help myself. I was so in love with this man, who, thanks to mine and mom's cooking, wasn't so skinny and short anymore. My 20th birthday was what we counted as our 2 year dating anniversary. I wasn't really expecting anything, but I was hoping. I had been after him for a while to make a move. His proposal was quirky, and completely untraditional. Pretty much our whole relationship. I of course said yes, and we set the wedding date for one year and one month away. 

                                                       

A lot can hapen in a year. Even a lot of things that can test a relationship's strength. It was during this time that my mom was first diagnosed with cancer and I learned how much that I needed him. He was there for me the entire time. Mom lost her arm during that year, but she was still there for every step of my wedding planning, and anxious for me to get married. She told me that she knew she wouldn't always be with me and she wanted to know I would be taken care of. So the wedding went on as scheduled.  Our first year was hard, as is everyones, because learning to live with someone is hard work. But, I think it's safe to say that we handled things well, and eventually adjusted to each other. 

I learned so much during those dating years, but it never compairs with living with someone. First off, I thought when we were dating that he just didn't like his full name. Wrong. He HATES being called by his full name. There is no "Daniel" in our house. There is Dan. And he likes beans for breakfast. He occasionally likes mustard on his sandwhiches and desperately needs time to himself whenever he can. He was not a Mennonte, regardless of other peoples opinion. He pretty much has to drink with a straw. He likes to be taken care of when he's really sick, but when he's just a little sick, you best leave him alone. He loves his routein, and doesn't like breaking it for anyone. And this is just a teeny tiny portion of things that I have learned.......and sometimes learned the hard way. 

When I said a lot can happen in a year, take that times 5 and that brings us to now. We've had countless arguments, just as many make up sessions, 4 promotions, 1 job location change, overnight shifts, family events and celebrations, church services, and just last year we lost mom. She was right when she said that I would be taken care of. Dan was with me through it all, being my strength, holding me when I felt like I would fall, and being a shoulder when I just needed to cry. I couldn't have made it through without him. 

And now we're entering another new and exciting chapter by adding in a sweet little boy. This pregnancy is something that I am enjoying so much! I'm sure that by the end of it, though, it will be another test of our marriage......as will the raising of our child. I don't have any doubts about wether we'll make it though. I signed on for the long haul, and I know he did too.  

Happy number 5, honey. I love you.

And they lived most blessedly together forever. 

The end. 

The Anniversary Edition

Allow me to tell a story. Why? Because I'm feeling sentimental today. See, today is my 4 year wedding anniversary.

I love my wedding band set. Dan did a good job. 

My story may seem a bit long because I want to tell every memory that I can squeeze in, because most every one of them sticks out in my mind......just like it all started yesterday instead of 8 years ago.


My story starts one day in 2004, when my brother told me that he was looking for an acoustic guitar player for his bluegrass gospel band. He told me how his band needed better balance, more drive, and just a solid sound in general......and it wasn't happening while he was playing guitar. He needed to be playing mandolin. So, the search began.
Honestly, I don't remember what time of year that was. I just know that a few days later, a fellow musician (a fiddle player, to be more exact) came in to the music store. He asked Russ how the band was coming along and Russ explained his current situation. The fiddler spoke to Russ about a young man he had met just that year. His name was Daniel O'Callaghan and he picked a flat-top like nobody's business, was 21...........and was a Mennonite. I wasn't there during this conversation, but Russ told me later how he had argued with the fiddler. How he told him that Mennonite people didn't play music, but had finally just shut up about it and arranged to meet the young man.
When the day came that "Daniel" was supposed to come up for an audition, I couldn't help but be excited. I was loving what Russ was doing with this band. I had just started getting into the bluegrass sound at this time, and the the fact that my brother was attempting to form a real bluegrass touring band was intriguing to me. Plus I was 16 (almost 17) at the time and there was supposed to be a 21 year old male musician coming around that evening. Why shouldn't I be excited?
Later that afternoon, I was teaching a fiddle student, when I needed to accompany them on one of their songs. I didn't have a guitar in the room with me, so I decided to borrow one from the wall out front. I picked a Martin acoustic that we had. In fact, it was the only Martin we had in the store at that time. After I grabbed it, I headed back in and finished up with my lesson. As I was right at the end of the lesson, I overheard Tyler talking to someone, explaining how a section of a song was to be played. He was here! I strained to listen, but I wasn't able to hear anything that he played. When I finished up with my student, I came out of the teaching room, I looked all around, but I didn't see anyone different. I thought maybe I had made it all up and he wasn't really here yet at all. No, he was here......in the bathroom. I stalled around a little, wanting to get a look at this guy before I left. I had tried and tried to imagine what he looked like since the minute I knew he was coming, and I'm afraid I had built up quite the story in my mind. I knew he wasn't a Mennonite because of playing the guitar, so I wasn't worried there. I had imagined him to be......"the one". I thought maybe we'd see each other and fall instantly in love. Then we'd date, marry, and live happily ever after. You know, teenage girl fantasies. Finally, the bathroom door opened and he walked out. He was.....not what I expected. He was just about my height, painfully skinny, and he wore these huge glasses. He was just wearing plain blue jeans, and a green long sleeved shirt. Hmmm. I shouldn't have built him up inside my mind. I just had a feeling that he was going to be something special, but I guess I was wrong. This wasn't going to be the man of my dreams. And it wasn't love at first sight. I mean, after all, he didn't look or act like I was expecting him to, so I just shut him out.....or tried to. Unsuccessfully, I might add. For the next few months, I thought about him quite often, and I was excited to go to any Mount Zion show just so I could see him. He was so quiet, and I was pretty backward when it came to men, so we never talked. But I could sit in the audience and look at him, all the while trying to figure out what exactly I was feeling for him.

This is what Dan looked like about a year into our relationship.
I would have loved to have found our first picture together, just so you could see how much we've changed. 

By June of 2005, through a series of Mount Zion shows, practices, and family events that happened during the time that "Daniel" was staying with Russ, we had actually started talking to each other a little. The more that I talked to him, the more I liked him. He had a really good sense of humor, he was sweet, kind, super smart, and the fiddler was right. Not only was he an outstanding guitarist, he was an all around amazing musician. I also learned that he hated being called by his full name, so that stopped immediately. From that point, he would forever be "Dan".

I remember one June night that year when we all gathered at mom and dad's (then my home as well) to watch a video of Russ and Skyla's recent trip to Alaska. Dan and I sat next to each other on the sofa, completely an accident of course, and ended up making fun of that video all night.
(Now, Russ and Skyla are reading this, I'm sure, and I do want to apologize for us doing that. It's not something we originally planned to do, but you gave us so much material to work with. "Here is our room.......here is our bathroom......here is our ironing board....." We just couldn't help ourselves.) It's still one of our great memories that we feel helped bring us together, and we still laugh about it today.
I believe it was the next day at the music store when Dan and Tyler started playing a little song. They had just written it, and Tyler suggested writing words for it. I, however, suggested it be an instrumental and how it should be named after me. A day or two later I received an email from Dan telling me about how my song should have a "dreamy and imaginative title......like "Nikki's Song". Being the dummy that I was, I took that as a compliment, and thought that he must really like my name. I came to find out later that he was being sarcastic. Oh, well. Sometimes we girls have to imagine compliments.
By the time July came around, we were chatting on a semi regular basis. He had asked me to be in a show with him and Tyler and we would form an acoustic trio of contemporary christian music. The "Acoustic Worship Experience", also known as AWE, would debut at the Garden Show in Mansfield MO in August, so we spent a lot of time working on songs for that show, and just generally getting to know one another.
My 18th birthday was July 23rd 2005. I was in town early that afternoon when my cell phone rang. It was Dan asking me to have mercy on him and come to Russ's and pick him up. When I asked why, he replied with just two words; Alaska video. Apparently Russ had company and was planning to show them the dreaded video that very afternoon. I agreed to come pick him up, and we decided it would be a great time to practice for our upcoming show. I had asked Dan to be at my birthday party a few weeks prior, so he would have been over that night anyway. I told him I was to have a Rascal Flatts cake, made in to the shape of the "dead dog" that was for so many years their logo. I told him that if he came to my party, he could have any piece he wanted. He said he wanted the little "x" eyes. I knew he was joking, but I never forgot that. At my party that night, I served his piece of cake first, before I even got one of my own. I'm sure you can imagine the look on his face when he received a piece of cake with 2 x's on it. After the festivities were dying down at the house, we decided to take a drive to the "Louisburg Picnic". A yearly event that always falls on or around my birthday. It's almost like a county fair, and it's just about 12 miles from where I live.
That's the night it happened. That's the night that we officially became "us". We were already a couple before that, but it was never really noticed......by us. Everyone else knew, but we were in completely oblivious.
We were watching the band perform on the stage, when this girl who was probably about my age got up to sing. One of the band members introduced her as "the most beautiful girl in the world.....inside and out.". I just kind of sat there making a face, when Dan scooted closer to me. I smiled and so did he. Later on, when that same girl started to come out in to the audience, I leaned closer to Dan and started teasing him about how some chick was after him. Then I said "Well, she's not getting you while I'm here!" and I reached out my right arm and linked it through his left. The first time we ever touched, and neither one of us wanted to let go. We held hands the rest of the night, and much of the next day, while traveling to and from church. Our official relationship wasn't determined so much that day, as it was the following Monday on the phone when we talked for 3 hours. That was the start of many.....MANY.....long conversations we would have over the next 2 years. Living apart was pretty awful, but I think it made us appreciate the time we were able to be together all the more. We talked about anything and everything, including that first day when I met him at the music store. He openly admitted his annoyance with me for "taking the only decent guitar in the place" away before he even had a chance to play it. I hadn't even seen him there, so I guess the love at first sight that I had planned on hadn't happened with either of us. I don't think that actually exists anyway. Love is something that develops and grows the longer you're together. But I guess that's a discussion for another time.

Even if I did have time to tell you every event that happened in the 2 years following that fateful night, I probably wouldn't. Let's just suffice it to say that we had a lot of good times, some bad ones, we fought, we made up, we went out, we ate in, and Dan ended up moving to Buffalo to be close to me on December 30th 2006. On my birthday in 2007, I was turning 20 and it was our 2 year anniversary. We had planned to spend the entire day together, starting with breakfast. I arrived at his apartment about 7:30 AM, if my memory serves correctly, and went inside to take his gift. I had actually thought we'd eat first, then come back to open the presents. I had only thought this because I knew Dan's stomach. See, he may have been painfully thin when I met him, but after being around me, mom, and our amazing cooking skills for 2 years, he had grown into a healthy boy. (And he actually grew in height as well, and is now a couple inches taller than me.) But when I went in, he wanted to open our gifts first. I thought it odd, but wasn't going to refuse. He gave me several things, including an MP3 player, and when I thought we were all done, he stepped over to his computer desk and picked up an envelope. He said there was "just one more gift" he wanted to give me. I somehow knew what was in that envelope. When I opened it, I saw I was right. It was a gold band with a single diamond on it. Right next to it was an empty taco sauce packet from Taco Bell. Now, if you've never seen one of these, they have clever sayings on them, such as "Ahhhh, we meet again." and "I see how you look at other sauces."
This particular one read "Will you marry me?" You may think this an odd way to propose marriage, but I loved it. It was completely Dan. I was in shock for just a few seconds, and I remember asking "Are you serious?"  I also remember Dan being so nervous that he replied with "NO! Not serious at all! This has just been one big, expensive joke!" I can laugh about it now, but at the time, I felt a little guilty for even saying what I said, even though I didn't really mean it. I knew he was completely serious. And I was thankful.
He was the one for me, and I knew it. I said "yes" and we both cried. We waited for a few weeks before setting the date for the wedding. I actually remember setting the date for August 23rd 2008, on August 23rd 2007. I knew it had to be a 23rd of the month when we were married, because that was our number, and we wanted to wait at least a year. It just worked out.

One of our engagement pictures.

Wedding picture! 

Thus our marriage began. It may not have been "love at first sight", but it has grown and blossomed into more than I could have ever hoped for. I've never once regretted being married to Dan. He's absolutely the best, and I couldn't have picked anyone better to share my life with. He is my rock, my strength, and my best friend. He's always there for me no matter what. We've had rough spots.....we've fought.....we've both said or done things we regret.....but we still love each other with all our hearts. Through all this sickness with mom, he's been there, standing beside me, holding me up because I was too tired and emotional to handle it by myself. I've been at mom's every day, and most every night, making it so Dan has to take care of himself. He does a wonderful job, but I miss being his helper. I miss my house. I miss going to sleep with him by my side. I miss him waking me up as he leaves for work. But this too shall pass, and I will be home with him again. Until that time, I just brag on him to everyone, telling them what a wonderful, understanding, considerate person that he is, and I mean it. He truly is the best, and I thank God every day for sending that not so skinny anymore, never was a "Mennonite", guitar player into my life.

This is us today. We've changed......just a bit. 

Thank you, Dan O'Callaghan, for everything you do for me, everything you are to me, and everything our life will be. Most of all, thank you for loving me the way you do. I love you more today than I ever have, but I'm sure I'll say the same tomorrow and every day for the rest of my life. I couldn't live without you, and I just wanted to take this opportunity to make sure you know it.