Proverbs 31 Woman

PROVERBS 31:10-31

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

People can interpret bible verses so many different ways. I know of some that would probably read this and say "Ok, to be a virtuous woman I have to make all my own clothes for me and all my family, spin my own wool, grow a vineyard, never touch any makeup, and be perfectly kind to every single person I meet. I don't necessarily see it that way. Let's talk a little more about this.

 

I was recently reading a post on Facebook, entitled;

"10 things NOT found in Proverbs 31".

I was intrigued, so I read it. It goes like this;
‎

10 THINGS NOT FOUND IN PROVERBS 31

1. Her coffee table never has dust on it.

2. Many have eaten off her kitchen floor.

3. Better Homes and Gardens just did a photo shoot in her living room.

4. She does all of the housework herself while the kids play Wii.

5. All of the words that flow from her children’s mouths are blessed.

6. All of her children are straight A students, musical geniuses, and all-star athletes.

7. Her hair is always fixed perfectly and her make-up is artfully applied.

8. She does not touch make-up or hairspray because it is vain and the art of Satan.

9. She never makes a bad decision.

10. She is classroom mom, PTO President, the bearer of orange slices at soccer games, and the church committee queen.

I can't really say why, for sure, but that really slapped me in the face. Was it because it was wrong? No. It really doesn't say that in Proverbs. I think what really got me was the fact that I was trying to be.......this person. The "NOT found in Proverbs" woman. Let me explain. 

Ever since my mom passed away, I've been wanting to be perfect. OK, not perfect in every way, but a perfect wife. I wanted to get my house in perfect condition, keep everything put away, always have nice meals cooked to perfection, wonderful desserts (home made at least once a week), the yard all landscaped and kept mowed all the time, and basically just everything........perfect. 

I thought if I could do that, I would be someone that mom would have been proud of. I would be the type of woman that she was. 

Now, after re-reading that last sentence, it gives the impression that my mom was perfect......and she was. As my mother, she was perfect. Was the house always clean? No. Were there always 3 home made meals a day? No. Did she always think before she spoke? No. But she was perfect? Yes. 

"11: The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil."

"12: She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."

"28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her."

My dad has said many times that he couldn't have been more blessed to have had my mom because she was a "virtuous woman". I never really thought too much about that when I was younger. Mom was just......mom. She did her best to make sure her family was taken care of. She paid the bills on time, kept the house as best she could (until she was too sick to do it anymore), cooked, took care of all of us, and so much more. But now as I've grown, I say she was wonderful.

"15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens."

"20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy."

"26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness"

OK, so there are lots of ways to interpret these verses, but I can say that mom always took care of her household. She didn't always get up before dawn to make dad breakfast, but he was still taken care of. Maybe mom didn't volunteer at a soup kitchen every weekend, but I can guarantee she never let anyone go hungry in her presence. And her words were always spoken with wisdom, even if it didn't seem kind at the time.

"30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised."

Verse 30 says it all. "A woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." This is what mom was all about. She feared God and was a servant to Him all the days of her life. That is what made her a virtuous woman. That is what she wanted from me, and what would make her proud. It doesn't really matter if nothing is perfect, because I can still be a virtuous woman by trying to do my best. By trying to be what God wants me to be and by following Him, fearing Him, and serving Him. 

This doesn't mean that I won't fail. That I won't still try and have things perfect, even though I know that it's next to impossible to do, but now I realize more than ever that the first thing on my list should always be fear God and put Him first. 

Thanks, mom. You have taught me the true meaning of being a true Christian wife and mother. 

I pray that I can be just like you. 

With broken heart.

This blog has been coming for a while.  As in......about 2 1/2 weeks.

I've not been able to bring myself to write it, even though I know it's something that needs to be done.

See, my wonderful mom......the one that I have talked about so much on here......the one that I loved to pieces.....my best friend.....the one that I was so sure was getting better.........she passed away on August 30th. I can't begin to describe how much I miss her.

At a time like this, I've heard it's really easy to get mad at God. I've heard it, but I'm not mad at God. Confused? Yes. Sad? Extremely. Do I feel like I'm in a bad dream? Absolutely. But can I change it? No.
Therefore, I could never be mad at God. He has blessed me beyond compare, and on top of everything, He gave mom to us longer than He could have. If we think about it, He could have taken her way back in 2007 when she lost her arm. We were fortunate enough to have her for 4 1/2 more years.

I don't want to ask why, but I can't seem to stop. We know God sent us the herbal tea she was on, and we truly thought it was working. She had every single sign and signal that the tea was working to break up her cancer. But it didn't. I can't say that it didn't help her at all, because I saw that it did with my own eyes. She was strong right up to the very end. She was alert, her memory was amazing, she had an appetite........just so many things that were a true blessing to her. But it just wasn't enough to completely heal her.......here. I think it did make it easier for her to slip out of this world and go home to Heaven, though. And there, she is completely healed. Whole once again.
I really try not to question, but sometimes I can't help it. I feel like we prayed and prayed and prayed to keep her here, and yet she's gone. There are times that I feel like it's my fault. Like I could have done something more to keep her, or that I didn't take good enough care of her, but then when I think about it, I'm still left at a complete blank, because I don't know what I could have done that would have changed anything. I know dad blames himself, too, and so does Russ. I think it's just normal when you love someone like we loved her.......like we still love her.

I have many, many good and wonderful memories of mommy in my lifetime, but her last days are etched in my memory and I can't seem to stop thinking about them. The look on her face as she was at home and gasping for breath, the way she turned blue before the paramedics got there, the way that I saw the color come back to her face once they put the oxygen on, how limp her body was when they put her on the stretcher, and most of all, the sadness that engulfed me when the doctor at the hospital told us that mom could never breathe on her own again, and the best thing to do would be to let her go in peace. Her lungs were so full of the cancer, she would never be able to get rid of it all. There was nothing that could be done.
We were in the room with her as she took "her last step of faith" as our preacher said at the funeral. We were crying, making sure we all said that we loved her, hugging her, kissing her, and just being there. She would have wanted it that way. I know she heard us, and knew we were there. At that time......she was ready to go.

That's the comfort I get. Knowing that she was ready to meet God. And not only that she was ready, but that she had prepared for that moment over 45 years ago when she was saved. I know that she's in Heaven right now, and that is my comfort. Knowing that I'll see her again one day......that's even more comfort.
In all reality and honesty, I wouldn't bring mom back to this world to be sick like she was for anything. No matter how much I miss her. See, I'm grieving now, but I'm not really grieving for mom. Mom doesn't need me to be sad for her. She's extremely happy! She doesn't even know that I exist. There are all kinds of people that say "Well, she's looking down on you now." But she's not. I accept this fact, because I know how Heaven is. If my mom looked down and saw me sitting here crying the way I do every day, she wouldn't be happy. She'd be so sad, and she would miss me, and she would want to come back and try to comfort me. Then she would cry. And there are no tears in Heaven.

Most days, I'm OK. I go to work and I try to occupy my mind with other things, and most of the time I can get through the day. But then.......it will get to be about 2 in the afternoon, and I'll think "I think I'll text mom and see what she's up to." And then I just stop. I just stop whatever I'm doing and realize that she's not there. Then I have to try and talk myself out of thinking the whole thing has been some awful dream. It's all I can do to keep from slapping myself to try and wake up.
I would give anything to talk to her again. Just to ask her things. Maybe silly things......or recipes that she's told me a hundred times that I never bothered to remember, just because I always thought I'd be able to ask again. Now I can't.

I have wonderful support. First of all, God is there and I pray all the time for help. I know He comforts me and will continue to do so. And Dan is the best husband I could ever ask for. He's been there with me through everything and I couldn't ask for him to do more. Dad and Russ are great as far as being there for me, and I try to be there for them too. It seems we all have bad days at different times. Another blessing from God. If we were all down at the same time, it would be completely miserable. But this way, we're able to remind each other that mom is so much better now, and that we shouldn't begrudge her that just because we're selfish.

Dad started back to work this week, and I began my new day to day. Before, when mom was well, I was always at her house by 8, and that was our time to visit before work. Now, 8 rolls around and I feel as though I need to be doing something.......but there's nothing. So, I'm throwing myself into my housework, sorting through things that we never use to send to auction, doing some baking, and just trying to establish a new normal. It won't be easy, by any means, but I have no other choice.

I have a strong feeling that I will never get over wanting to talk to her, or see her, or spend time with her, even though she's gone. I'll never stop having that feeling of needing to call her in the middle of the afternoon just to see how she's doing. I'll never get over the feeling of an empty space at church on Sunday or the lunch thereafter. I'll never stop thinking about asking her to ride along with me every time I go somewhere. And every time I go to cook something, I'll second guess myself and turn to ask her if I'm doing it right.
That's what a big influence she was in my life. And I never want her to leave me completely. I'm thankful and blessed to have had her for the 25 years that I have, and she will forever live on in my heart.

I love you mommy. See you soon. 

God's Miracles----Part 2

Part 2.

So, where I left off in the last post was pretty much where we stayed for roughly 4 years. I went ahead and got married and started a life with my husband, although we were never far away. Mom learned to live with the struggles of doing things with one arm. If you think about it, I mean, really think about it, doing things with just one arm and hand is difficult. Especially when it's the dominant hand you've lost.
(As an aside, I once tried tying my right arm to my side and going about my day. It's not easy to do. Wash your hair.....go to the bathroom.....drive......cook a meal from scratch........the list goes on.)
The worst part was the Phantom Pain. She'd be in tears because of the pain she felt from an arm that wasn't there anymore. The hospital in Kansas had given her pain pills, but they didn't seem to do a thing for it.
But other than the pain, mom adjusted so well! I remember going to their house one day and on the stove was a pot of potatoes. Peeled! I asked if dad had peeled them and she said no. Mom had peeled roughly 15 potatoes by herself. Her cleverness never ceased to amaze me. When her great-granddaughter was born in 2009, she was so happy. She held her, rocked her, and even changed diapers. She told me it was good practice for when I had a baby. This way she'd be prepared and already know how to handle mine.

Enter 2012

The first couple months were business as usual. Mom had started taking care of her mom (we all call her Mammy--Age 91) almost full time the end of 2011 and by the first of March, we could tell that it was starting to wear her down. She didn't have the energy she normally had, but mom insisted she was fine.
One morning she awoke with a UTI (urinary tract infection). Those are actually pretty common for mom, so we didn't think much about it. She went to her primary doctor and got a prescription just like always. But this time was a little different. The pills didn't help. Instead, they seemed to make her dizzy. In fact, the dizziness started that afternoon and seemed to get worse every day that she took the pills. She stopped taking them over that  weekend, but the dizziness didn't leave, and she still had the UTI. She went back to the doctor the following Monday, telling them she must have had an allergic reaction to the pills they gave her. They prescribed something different and sent her on her way.

Over that week, the dizziness still lingered, and on top of everything, mom starting having "near fainting episodes" at night. It would be almost time for her to go to sleep and her heart would go crazy, not with pain, but by beating very rapidly, and she would feel as though she was already asleep, and if she actually slept, she didn't know if she'd wake up. She never told me about these issues, but dad did. He said that she'd tell him that she loved him and for him to tell her kids how much she loved them, just in case she didn't make it. She wanted to be held and talked to and kept awake for as long as possible. Then her heart would ease down to a normal rhythm and she would drift off. This didn't happen every night, but about every other night. It seemed as though she was having the same issues through the day, too. One good day, followed by a bad day, followed by a good day. A never-ending cycle. So back to the doctor we went. We had ruled out medicine allergy because it had been around too long.  After discussing mom's diet at length, as well as the feelings she would have before and after she ate, Hypoglycemia was a definite possibility. Instead of putting her through the 6 hour test to see for positive, we tried just changing her diet. Lots of protein, eating every 3-4 hours, no sugar except good sugar........etc.  It did seem that after mom ate she would feel better for an hour or two, but it still didn't fix the problem.

So now, I'm trying to look up her symptoms on line, because......that's just what I do. The most logical thing that WebMD says is Hypothyroidism. So we start studying about that next. Mom fits every symptom. It's the most perfect solution. Even with that, there are still issues that she would have to face, but most of it could be cured with a little pill. Back to the doctor we go.
By this time, we're going to the doctor 1-2 times a week to try and figure this out. But when they test for thyroid problems and the test comes back negative, we're really starting to wonder what could be wrong. After they take more blood to run tests for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Rheumatoid arthritis, and Lupus my brother speaks up with an alternative; Charlene. A massage therapist / herbalist, who's a very intelligent woman, that listens to your body to know what's wrong with you. Now, mom and dad aren't really in to alternative medicine, but by this point, we're willing to try anything. Plus, Russ had great luck with her. She had cured his kidney, pancreas, and liver problems with nothing but herbs, and he had't even told her there were problems there. He knew there were problems there from trips to the doctor, but she knew there were problems from the massage. It's quite amazing to watch, really.

We schedule an appointment, and Russ takes mom for her first treatment. Charlene worked and worked and discovered fluid in mom's chest around her heart. She said that could be causing the rapid heart beats, as well as the dizziness. After one treatment, the dizziness is gone. She asked mom about her phantom pain pills, and told her that they were ruining her liver. So those pills went bye bye. Mom stopped taking them immediately, and after about 3 sessions with Charlene, he phantom pain was next to nothing. The only other thing Charlene could find wrong with mom was a signal coming from her head. Based on all the fluid build up (which apparently is common amongst depressed women) and the other symptoms, she felt as though the signal was telling her Depression was the problem. She worked with mom's mood, gave her herbs that were to improve your outlook......all kinds of things. Essentially, mom was better for a couple weeks. She felt better, but she had no strength. She wouldn't eat hardly anything, she was irritable, and confused a lot of the time.
She had to send Mammy to live with my uncle because of the simple fact that mom could no longer care for her. She couldn't even care for herself. Most of the time, it was a struggle to get up and go to the bathroom, and when she did, she was as winded as if she'd walked a mile.

Wednesday, April 18th, 2012, mom woke up and couldn't feel her right leg from the knee down. Couldn't lift her leg by herself, move her foot or any of her toes. She said it just felt numb. She was also having trouble forming words to even speak. Our first thought is stroke. Dad says enough is enough and takes her to the ER. Once there, he explains what's been going on with mom, but all the doctor on duty is concerned with is how she lost her arm. Even though my dad insists there's something wrong in her head, the doctor does a chest X-Ray instead. What does he find? Spots. Roughly a 1/2 inch in size. The same thing they saw in Kansas 4 years before. So he tells mom to follow up with an Oncologist. "After all, this is an Emergency Room. You just need a cancer doctor." He told them. So they left and came back home.

God's works are mysterious. I don't know an actual reason that the doctor didn't find the problem that day, but I know there was a reason.

Mom suffered the rest of that day, as well as the next day before she went back to see Charlene on April 20th. Once Charlene saw mom and how terrible she looked........weak, pale, unable to move her leg, or form simple words....she was scared, as well. Although mom's speech had mostly come back, Charlene's  first thought was a stroke. But once she examined mom, she thought it would be possible that a pinched nerve was involved. I mean, after all, mom had just woke up with the numbness. Maybe she'd moved wrong in the night, and her spine was pinched in a way to cause the nerves to go numb. She made mom a chiropractor appointment for the following morning and worked with her for 2 hours, but nothing changed in her leg. Mom left the massage feeling much the same as when she went in, all the while convincing herself that the leg problem was a pinched nerve.

That night, Charlene called saying she hadn't got mom out of her mind all day. She knew there was something else wrong besides a pinched nerve. She wanted to come to mom's house and bring a friend of hers that was a Registered Nurse to examine mom. Once there, the nurse agreed with Charlene about it seeming very stroke-like, and told mom that it could be a blood clot, stroke, or something else. But she needed to have it checked. She told them that if mom changed at all......AT ALL......to get her back to the ER and demand a scan of her brain. My parents agreed, and Charlene and the RN left.
Dad checked mom about every hour through the night. He would wake her, ask her how she was feeling, and then make her repeat a sentence to see how she was understanding things and speaking. About 3:15 AM, he woke her and she couldn't form words. At all. She was able to get across to him to call me to ride to the hospital with them, so I was called. I jumped in my clothes and got in the car. That was a scary ride to the hospital. I was trying to hold it together to be brave for mom, yet I was scared to death and praying to God that she'd be alright. I was then reminded that she would be. A few days before, I had been overcome with a need to pray for mom. It couldn't have been more clear to me if an audible voice had said it. A tap on the shoulder, and some words spoken to my head, and my heart; "You need to pray for your mom."
So I did. I don't know what I said when I prayed, or how long that I prayed, but when I finished, I was given peace to know that mom would be OK. Now was the time that I needed my faith to stay strong. I'd been given assurance that everything would be alright, I just needed to believe it.

In the ER, we were given a doctor who wasn't concerned with what had happened to mom's arm, but she was concerned with what was going on in her brain. She ordered a brain scan, and within 15 minutes of arriving, we were called to mom's bedside for the results. The cat scan had revealed a large tumor on the left side of mom's head, on top of her brain. The pressure from the tumor had cut of her ability to move her leg and talk, and it had grown so large that it had ruptured and was now bleeding, which was making everything worse. She was admitted and the rest of the family was called. I put notices on Facebook asking people to pray, we made phone calls and stayed in prayer most of the day ourselves. We knew that prayer was the only thing that could bring her through, so we wanted as many people on this case as possible.
As the day progressed, mom seemed to get worse. We didn't know until that night when Dr. Kutz came in that mom had been monitored all day, and the bleeding had stopped that morning, right around noon. We know who did that. God was on the scene.
Dr. Kutz pulled up the MRI they had done of mom earlier in the day, and I'm pretty sure my heart stopped beating for a few seconds. It was worse that I had thought. It looked as though the tumor covered the whole back left section of her brain. The doctor told us that the tumor needed to be removed, because if it wasn't, she would die. She'd only have a few days left. But if he did remove the tumor, she would probably suffer brain damage. The most likely would be that she would stay in the same condition she was in at that time. Not walking, and not talking. That was discouraging. Mom was there, she understood things we told her, but she just couldn't say anything back. I think that broke my heart worse than anything. Watching her cry because she couldn't talk.
Dad called Russ and I outside the room and asked our advice. He didn't want to lose mom, but he also didn't want her suffering by not being able to express her thoughts. We decided to leave the decision up to mom. Russ worked out a system with her so she could communicate. She would squeeze his hand if the answer was yes.
"Mom, do you understand what the doctor said?"
*squeeze*
"Do you want to have the surgery?"
*squeeze* And then she leaned forward on the bed and said "Get it OUT!"
That was what we needed to hear. Words spoken in a sentence, perfectly understood by all. The doctor had said that since the tumor had stopped bleeding, he would be able to wait until the next morning to do the surgery, but if we felt like it should be sooner, he would do it that night. Mom wanted to wait, and we did too. If he had done it that night, he wouldn't have had a team or some of the proper equipment, but the next morning, everything would be as close to perfect as he could get it.
I'll never forget what dad asked him after that;
"Before I agree to let you do this surgery, I have to know something. Are you a man that believes in God and the power of prayer? Do you know where your help comes from? Because if you don't, I'm not letting you lay a finger on my wife." 
My dad's pretty great about that. Dr Kutz reassured dad and even promised to call the family in for a special  prayer right before they wheeled mom in to the operating room.

The waiting began.

Our pastor and his wife came up that night and we all prayed over mom while she slept. She never knew we were there, but God did.
All night mom would drift in and out of sleep, all the while moaning and holding her head. When she would rouse, we would ask her if she wanted some pain medicine, but she'd refuse. We took turns staying in the room with her. First dad and myself, then my brother and sister-in-law. I had sent my husband home earlier in the day, not thinking that they would have the surgery so soon. But now I know why I'd sent him home. It was so I could be there for dad. We'd support each other, boost each others faith, talk about the Scriptures and how as long as we believe, anything we'd ask for would be given us. We also started praying that mom would not only be alright through the surgery, but that when she came out, at least she'd be able to talk. We didn't want her to be trapped within herself.

A pretty Sunday morning dawned bright and early. My husband arrived before 6 because they were planning to take her at 7 AM. When 7 came and she was still in her room, we didn't think much about it, but when 10 AM came and she was still there, we were a little upset. Come to find out there had been an accident early that morning and there was a person with a broken neck that had to be taken first. We were pushed to 11:55. At 12:30 when she was still in her room, we inquired again. More accidents had occurred, so we'd been put off again. Finally at 2 PM they came to get her for the final MRI before the surgery. By this time, more of the family had showed up and were waiting in the waiting room. After they took mom for the MRI, we were all shown to a different floor where the surgery would be held so we could wait there.
After the MRI, Dad, Russ and I were called to wait with mom in the prep room. The doctor came in and we prayed. It was great. Our faith was renewed, and we knew that she'd be OK. We told her we loved her and she was able to say "Love you too".  We were walking out the door when she looked at Russ and I and said "Kids.......I'll be OK."  Such wonderful words to hear. They wheeled her to surgery and we headed to the waiting room.
It was 3:30 PM and we had the assurance of at least 2 hours before we heard anything. In the waiting room, there were about 30 members of the extended family waiting there. My grandmas, mom's brothers and sister, their families, cousins, close friends, our pastor and his wife........and what do you think we did?
That's right. We prayed again. We're not some of those people that thinks you can pray one time and then you're done. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 "Pray without ceasing" If a little does good, we know a lot will do better!
Dr. Kutz came out to talk to us at 6 PM. The surgery was a complete success. They removed it all, and cleaned out all the excess blood. He didn't know how bad her brain had been injured because she was still asleep, but her left side seemed to function normally. We could see her in the ICU in about 1 1/2 hours, but she would be there for roughly 2 days. Then we could expect a 4 to 5 day stay in a normal hospital room, then we'd take it from there.

Dad went in first, but was back to get Russ and I within 2 minutes. As we walked into her room, mom started smiling. Her head was bandaged, but her color was already better than that morning.
"Hey! There's my kids! Look, guys, I'm talkin'!" 
If it hadn't been in the ICU, at night, when everyone is supposed to be quiet, I think we all would have started shouting. Not only had God answered our prayer about her making it through the surgery, but he answered the one about her talking too. I knew then and there that not only would He let her talk, but she'd be walking one day.

She only stayed in the ICU for 12 hours, and only stayed in the hospital from Saturday, April 21st, to Wednesday, April 25th. She started moving her leg again on her own on Tuesday, April 24th, much to the amazement of her doctors. It stayed partially numb for several days after that, and moving it was a struggle, but let me tell you something. She's walking today. She wiggles her foot and toes.
Yes, she is constantly tired. Yes, she still has trouble focusing on things sometimes. Yes, it will take a while. But she's coming back to herself. Every single day she gets more and more normal. The doctors didn't do that.
I'm very thankful for surgeons and doctors that have a God given knowledge of the human body and healing.......but they didn't do it on their own. God's hands are guiding them, and that's what I'm the most thankful for.

When you put both parts of the story together, you can really truly see how God was at work through the whole thing. All the way back from the incident with the weed trimmer. I think sometimes that maybe that was His way of releasing that cancer. I don't know. His timing isn't ours. But one thing is for certain; Mom is a walking, talking testimony of what God can do when we trust in Him.

As for those spots on her lungs, we're going back to the doctor in 3 months. I'm praying for them to be gone. To have just.......vanished. Because I know my God is capable of that. He may not remove them that way. And if He doesn't.......He has supplied us with other options of treatment.

It's a shame that we take life for granted most of the time, and it takes something serious like this to get us back in line where we need to be. After all, every breath you take is a miracle.
Thanks for taking the time to hear my miracle story. I hope it has touched your heart in some way, and you realize how very precious life is.

We want to give all the praise and glory to God, as well as our never ending thanks for this amazing gift!

 We are blessed!

God's Miracles---Part 1

I know that some readers still don't know me that well, but for the ones that do, you know my wonderful mom has had some problems recently. If you can call a green walnut sized tumor in your brain a "problem".
Anyway, I've been asked by several to tell her story, and why she is "a miracle". So I've decided to do that right here, because I want to tell as many people as I possibly can what happened to my family. I want people to know that God's still performing miracles......every day......even if they aren't as obvious as the one I'm going to tell you about.

I've experienced many miracles in my life. Some I recognize, some I don't, but the biggest one I've had, I want to tell you about now. I'm going to do it in two parts, because the story starts a long time ago.

Rewind the clock 8-10 years.

Mom has always been a hard worker. She'd held a job since before she and my dad married until I came along. Then they were in a financial state to where they felt like she could be a stay-at-home mom. So she home-schooled me, kept the house, cooked all the time, took care of my grandparents, ran errands, mowed the yard........she not only mowed for us, but for others as well. As I grew up, it was just part of my summer routine.
One day, we were mowing for my grandma and I couldn't get the trimmer started. I was getting pretty frustrated, which is the normal for me (especially at that time), so mom came over to help me.
After she had pulled on the cord a couple times, she rested, then gave one really REALLY hard pull. It started right up that time, but she had hurt her right shoulder. She said that she felt like she'd pulled something out of place, but we needed to finish the yard, so the pain was shoved to the back of her mind. Her arm was never the same after that. Her shoulder pain was almost constant, and no matter what she did, it just didn't seem to go back in to place.
Not long after that, she developed a knot on the front of her shoulder. We all thought it was from the shoulder being out of place, but no matter what happened the knot wouldn't leave. It stayed that way for several years, relatively small in size, but it hurt all the way down her arm. At times it even hindered her from playing her guitar.....which she loved.

In 2007, the pain was so bad there were times she couldn't raise her arm, so we convinced mom to see a chiropractor. The knot had grown since it first appeared, but we were all trying to talk ourselves in to thinking it hadn't.
She started seeing a local chiropractor, who told her the knot was a calcium formation, stemming from when she had injured her shoulder with the trimmer. He explained that, even thought nothing was really out of place, there had been a small fracture there, and her body was trying to heal it by sending calcium to the bone, but after the fracture had healed, the calcium hadn't stopped building.
This did make sense, and after all, he was the doctor. He'd taken X-Rays and everything. He started treatments to break loose the calcium 2 times per week. Mom would have a treatment (which hurt so bad it would bring her to tears), then the pain would be gone for a day or two and she would feel normal again. She did that for several weeks, but the relief wouldn't last over 2 days. Nothing ever worked for a long period of time. The knot grew.

Mom had an indication that something else was wrong besides calcium build up, but she never said until years later. I'm pretty sure it was dad that convinced mom to go to an actual doctor (not that chiropractors aren't doctors.......you know what I mean.) I believe it was early September in 2007 that she went to her normal physician to ask about the shoulder. They took more X-Rays and said there was definitely something there, and scheduled her an appointment with a specialist. Dad was working, so I drove mom to her appointment later that same day. I was newly engaged, to be married the following year, and the thought that something serious could be wrong with my mom had never hit me. I just thought she had a shoulder injury that she was too stubborn to see about. When the doctor walked in to the exam room and said he thought it was a tumor, I felt hot fear. The kind that starts at the top of your head and slowly pours down your whole body. We called dad to come up, because mom needed him for support, and he brought my fiance' because he knew I would need his support. She had the MRI and we were called with results that night. It was definitely a tumor that had developed in her shoulder, and she would need to go to Kansas City, KS to KUMED and see another specialist; Dr Kimberly Templeton.

The whole family went to this consultation. Dad, Russ (my brother) and me. Dr. Templeton, we feel, was the doctor that God led us to. She seemed to care, had a lot of smarts, and worked harder than we knew (during the time) to help us. When we met with her, we teased mom that she was the doctor for us because she carried a Diet Coke with her constantly. That got a little chuckle out of mom, but we were all so keyed up, we didn't have many more laughs for a while. Dr. Templeton met with us and explained that she was pretty sure it was a cancerous tumor and wanted a biopsy. The next few weeks are all a blur in my mind. I think it was so surreal to me that I just wanted to block it out. The main key points I remember; The biopsy revealed Chondrosarcoma Cancer at level 2 (with 1 being the best, 3 being the worst), the biopsy caused the knot in her shoulder to grow even more, if there was anything on mom's lungs......she wouldn't last but about 2 months because they couldn't do anything for it, and her arm would have to come off. The prayers started going heavy, even before they scheduled the scan for her lungs. One thing that drives me crazy about doctors is the fact that they know results of tests as soon as they see them, yet they don't want to reveal the results to you for days. We were scared to death after that scan, and we were just supposed to go get in a car and drive home. We did.....and prayed the whole way. About half way home, the cell phone rang. It was Dr. Templeton's nurse. She said she wanted to give us some good news; She had seen the scan, and mom's lungs looked perfect! Talk about a shouting meeting in the car! We felt so wonderful, we knew our prayers had been answered. Mom was still having to loose her arm, but we could keep her, and that's all that mattered.

November 6th, 2007 was surgery day. We didn't know it, but Dr Templeton had gone to Europe to see about an artificial shoulder she had helped develop. If she could have brought that back to the US, the could have saved mom's arm and just replaced her shoulder. But, the US wouldn't allow her to bring it back, so the arm had to go too.

More prayers.

The surgery was a complete success. The doctor said mom had done great, and didn't even need to be given any blood. She had taken biopsies of all tissue behind the tumor to make sure she got it all, and she had. We could see her in recovery in a couple hours.
I don't think I could ever forget seeing mom for the first time after the surgery. She looked really good. It was strange to me to see her right side all bandaged up, but I was just happy to see her. She stayed in the hospital for only 4 days and surprised us all by coming home so soon. As the weeks went by, we slowly got used to seeing mom with only one arm, and she slowly learned how to do things on her own.

We went back for her 3 month check up feeling positive that everything would be good. And it was. We were all on top of the world. But when we went back for the next 3 month check up, something was wrong. The doctor was taking way too long to come talk to us. We could just feel it, and I know mom could too because she hadn't really wanted to go back for this check up in the first place.
When the doctor came in, she said that there was indeed a problem. A couple spots had developed on the top of mom's left lung. They were roughly 1/2 inch in size and she was pretty sure it was the cancer. Once again I felt the hot fear pouring over me. This wasn't supposed to happen. Everything was supposed to be going good! I was getting married the next month, I needed mom to be OK!
Dr. Templeton said that there was nothing she could do except refer us to a lung specialist. Since Chondrosarcoma couldn't be treated with chemotherapy or radiation, surgery was the only answer. When we met with the lung doctor, he didn't really.......suit us. He said;
"Oh yeah. Pretty sure I agree with Dr. Templeton. This is Chondra......so we'll go in, do a lung biopsy, and when it proves I'm right, I'll go in and lop of the top part of that lung. No problem."
No problem. Sure. We just go through stuff like this every day! The odd thing is, the doctor didn't make an appointment with us before we left. He said that we needed to call back the following week to schedule it. We left that day with sad hearts and minds. Now, I know what you're thinking. God didn't answer your prayers because the cancer went to her lungs. Wrong. God did answer our prayers.......and in even more ways that we didn't know about until recently.
Dad mentioned what happened with the doctor at church the following Sunday. It was decided that we would do a healing service for her, and boy, was God there. Mom said she just felt like she had been touched and everything would be OK. After that day, mom called the doctor to make an appointment, and they just didn't have time for her. They promised to call her back the next day and didn't. This went on for a couple weeks, with mom calling every few days. After she called the 5th time, she did some serious praying. She prayed for a sign. If she called one more time and didn't get an appointment, she would know she wasn't supposed to go back. And that's what happened. She called and got put off again, so she didn't go back.

This is about half of the full story, so I'm going to take a break here. I'll be posting part two very soon, so I hope you will check back with me to hear the rest of our miracle.